But [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV
Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes I want to blog, to write something encouraging; my heart wants to express things but I get tired from the mental work and the things that pull at me and chip at me. None of it is overwhelming, individually, but collectively it can be wit-dulling and energy-sapping.
Sometimes I cry out to God that I simply don’t know what to do next. I don’t even know what to tackle next.
He is generous and He is gracious. Sometimes He restores me as I read His Bible. Sometimes it’s a hot shower or a nap. He is very good.
Sometimes God uses other Christian men to remind me of His admonitions:
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9 ESV
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.
Hebrews 12:1-3 ESV
And even in increasingly trying times:
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,
for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
James 1:2-4 ESV
I share this because God promises that it is valuable. Sometimes I’m in my weakness and He sees me through. I may not feel like being gracious or merciful. I may feel like giving in to my fears and fighting back like my flesh tells me to. I may want to put something in front of my eyes like the world keeps trying to get me to see. When I hang on, crying out to God, however, I find His strength and then I may get the blessing of watching Him heal someone who experiences hurt and anger, bitterness and resentment. I can then see that He has been working on someone’s heart only after I ask the guy a question and he breaks down and tells me the truth of hurt he’s trying to hide. I don’t persevere in my strength. I have to fall upon Him desperately. He is the one in whom I can believe when my faith in others wanes. It’s His promises I believe when I look at people just being people and I think it may never matter what I do to try and help someone. I’m not dependent on anyone else. He alone is the source of life.
My life isn’t about me; it’s Him. Some days I fail to serve Him well and love the people He loves right and some days I get the blessing of stumbling one more step for His glory and I get to see how an all-powerful, loving and righteous God sets people free and pours His life-changing power into lives that are crushed.
I reach out to a servant of God who is making a decision. The cynicism of my flesh, the world and demons who seek to kill, steal and destroy scream at me to fear repercussions or expect the worst and God demonstrates His power and faithfulness to have the heart of that servant prepared already to receive my question.
Jesus is the righteous King of all. He is the Creator of Life and He alone is worthy of worship. He is faithful and dependable. He is not benign, malicious, malevolent or inconsistent. He sets prisoners free for His glory and because He loves each of them and He is my fortress and defender. He sustains me and I try to continue to look to Him.